HoneyDear

“You’re all set! Have a good day!” “Thanks, honey-dear. You, too.”

Call me Honey. One more time. I dare you.

So does anyone else find it infuriating when people you don’t know call you honey, sweetie, dear, or worse, honey-dear? I DO.

If it’s a woman who is older than I am, I can usually get over it. But if you are a man and you are calling me one of the names listed here, it’s not okay. It sounds condescending and I’m over it. I don’t know why, but I get physically upset.

It’s 2016, folks, and if you want to call me anything, maybe try my name? Or, better yet, don’t try to call me anything. Because if you don’t know me and you try to use my name casually, it weirds me out. So maybe just don’t.

Wow. This post and my last post make me sound like a really angry person, don’t they? I swear I’m not. I just have a few pet peeves! (Unfortunately, the phrase ‘pet peeve’ is one of my pet peeves.)

Sorry about the super short post. I just wanted to get something up since I haven’t been on in a while. I promise I will soon!

Later, fishes!

♥Janice

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No One is Ever Ready for Kids

Is anyone else super over being told that they should be having kids? I have been married for just shy of 4 years. I am 23 years old and people keep asking when we are going to have kids. I give them our reasons, some of them financial, all of them true. And I always, ALWAYS get back that no one is ever “ready” for a baby- financially or emotionally. Well, folks. Here is what I have to say to that.

*WARNING: ranting about to occur*

  • So first off, I AM TWENTY THREE YEARS OLD. I HAVE TIME. I don’t know if it’s my small town or maybe things are changing, but it seems like all the people I went to school with and people younger with me are popping out babies left and right. They’ve got their lives together and that’s truly wonderful for them! But, I’m still working on me.
  • We are currently attempting to financially recover from my husbands $200,000.00+ back surgery! (Granted, we had insurance so we don’t have to pay THAT much, but it sure still feels like a lot!!) Maybe let me get on my feet again and we’ll talk? I should at least be able to have a decent savings account when we decide it’s time for baby. I mean, babies take lots of money. I’ve put off getting a dog because we literally cannot spare the money. And you want me to have a BABY? Sure, sure. If you’re going to fund it.
  • I understand that you don’t think anyone is every truly ready. But ya know what, YOU DON’T KNOW ME. When I tell you that I am not ready, it’s because I know myself and I know my limits and I know my wants and needs. Right now, I don’t want a kid! I want to travel with my husband and make memories before we throw a child in there. After a child, life is about that child. About what the child needs and wants. About how to make the child happy and provide the best future for them. Frankly, I’m not done focusing on me and my husband. There are still things I want to do with just him without having to worry about anything else.

So those are my reasons at the moment. And don’t take this all the wrong way, like I hate children or something. I love kids. Kids are adorable. They wear tiny socks and hats and pants and it’s way cute. I want kids. I want quite a few kids. I just don’t want them right now.

So all you married couples without kids (MCWoKs!), has anyone been pestering you to have kids? Share you story! We MCWoKs gotta stick together.

That’s all for today, fishes. Until next time!

♥Janice

The Biggest Mistake of My Life

The “biggest mistake of my life” was one of my favorite days.

Right after graduation, I started seeing Bryson. He was my first real boyfriend (because I don’t count middle school or month-long ‘relationships’). After spending nearly every day together for 3 months, he asked me to marry him and I said yes! I went downstairs to tell my brother and he told me I was making the biggest mistake of my life*. At the time I was pretty ticked. Looking back now, I don’t know how he was the only person who had the guts to say it outright.

So real quick, let me say this one more time.

I WAS NINETEEN YEARS OLD.

I WAS ENGAGED AFTER THREE MONTHS OF DATING.

Sorry for all the yelling, but I was a crazy kid! Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change a single thing. I love my husband and I’m excited that I got to start life with him so soon! However, that doesn’t change the fact that if it was happening to someone else I knew and not me, I would be hardcore judging. (Yes, I am a terrible person. I’m working on it.)

So if you’re out there reading this and getting married young or soon, let me just share with you a few things that I learned along the way.

•Weddings are expensive as all get out. It’s a serious shame. Planning them is stressful and time consuming and they’re over so fast! So try to remember that in the end, it’s not going to matter what centerpieces you had or how bad the DJ was even though he was really bad. It’s not going to matter that 2 bridesmaids dropped out and you don’t really talk with half the bridal party anymore. It’s not the day that matters. It’s not. I promise. It’s what the day brings!- a marriage. So when things go wrong, or everything is too expensive and you don’t get your “dream wedding”, get over it. Because honestly, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you and that person that you stood up there with are promising forever to one another.

•When you get married young, you find out who your friends are. It’s not necessarily going to be the ones you ask to stand up there with you, or the people that actually end up standing with you. It’s not going to be all those kids you invited to your wedding because you thought you were as important to them as they were to you (because, spoiler alert, you’re not).  It’s going to be the people who make an effort. If it’s a genuine effort once every few months to catch up, or it’s emailing everyday back and forth at work because going a week without talking makes you miss them, you’ll recognize the people who are really going to be there if you need them (and even when you don’t know you need them). So that girl who started treating you differently after you got engaged? The one who’s mom was friendlier to you than she was when you saw them in the Wal-Mart parking lot? Don’t feel bad for not inviting her to the wedding. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life. Marriage is hard work, and you need people around you who are going to lift  you up. So some may back off and some you may drop, but one way or another, you’ll find out who your true friends are.

•Marriage is HARD. Especially when you’re both young and still figuring life out. It’s nice, because you have someone to figure it out with. It’s also frustrating, because every family is different. Trying to mesh two totally different people into doing things one certain way is tough! We fought about how to fold the clothes, which drawer to designate for silverware, what holiday traditions to keep/mesh, how Bryson doesn’t know how to comfort me when I’m upset, etc. Some really silly stuff got blown way out of proportion (that’d be me, folks) and turned into yelling arguments. We tend to get past things fairly quickly which is helpful but it would still be best to not have argued at all. So, be considerate of each other when it comes to meshing your families, traditions and ideas.

While I would like to take up more of your time, that’s all I have for now. Comment if you have any life lessons you’ve learned from getting married quickly or young (or both!).

Until next time, fishes!

♥ Janice

*I just want to make it clear that my brother came around to the idea of my getting married. His immediate reaction wasn’t great, but I can’t blame him. I was all consumed in my Disneyesque ending.

Let’s Get Acquainted

Hey! So, I just wanted to make a little intro blog post to tell you what I’m all about and what you can expect in this blog.

I’m a small town girl with big city dreams.

KIDDING.

But seriously, I’m a small town girl. I work in a town that has 1 stoplight. I live in a town that has no stoplights. And I grew up in a city that has a bunch of stoplights, but is in no way a ‘big city’. By the way, all of these towns are quite close. I grew up in Florida/West Virginia/Colorado and called those metal things that you push around the store buggies. While I was in first grade, we moved to Indiana to a city that when I call those things buggies, people look at me like I’m crazy because buggies are what the Amish ride in pulled by their horses. So almost 17 years later, I’m still trying to adjust to the word ‘cart’. I also say ‘again’ weird, or so I’ve been told.

I have a big sister and a big brother. We are all 4 years apart, which is nice when I’m trying to figure out how old they are. Both of my siblings are married and my sister has a beautiful step daughter and just the ohmygoodness cutest son! He is nine months at the moment and he has the chubbiest cheeks and just the best smile. My parents are the best. My dad had to talk me down the other day when I was freaking out because I had a splinter that had broken and there was just a bit still stuck in my knuckle. He was so gentle and it didn’t even hurt. He is my favorite. And my mother is my best friend. She is so great and understanding and they are both just always THERE. Whenever we need them. I couldn’t ask for a better family.

I met Bryson junior year in high school for like a millisecond. Then he was out for most of junior and senior year with Crohns. My best friend (Caitlin) was friends with him and the day after graduation, I used her phone to text him my number and said ‘you’re welcome’. He didn’t even ask who it was, he just texted me. We got married a year later, I got to join a big, new and wonderful family, and now we are in our first house. We also set our two best friends (Caitlin & Zack) up at our wedding in 2012 and exactly 1 month before our 3 year anniversary, they got married. We are kind of the cutest.

I’ve worked in retail since my first job at Walgreens. It was pretty cool because I got to work with one of my best friends, Anita. I currently work as a teller at a financial institution. And yes, I use the phrase financial institution on a daily basis. And yes, that does make me a little bit sad. Moving on!

I love Jesus. I love movies, shows and musicals. I love music, photography, writing and reading. I wish I could play the guitar. I took lessons when I was younger but I was terrible and my teacher was terrible and I gave up. I used to be a little bit of a quitter. I went to all 3 schools in my area, not because I was troubled or a hoodlum or anything, I just wanted to find somewhere I fit in. Eventually, I did, if just temporarily.

That’s all I got for now. Later, fishes!

♥Janice